I'm writing this from my home in south Minneapolis, exactly one mile from where George Floyd was unjustly killed.
As I thought about drafting this letter and the message we wanted to convey, I made a conscious decision to be unapologetically honest. 

The truth is, it is the hardest Firefly blog I've written. I know this message will be imperfect. I’ve struggled with what Firefly can add when it feels like every organization in the country has (rightly) released position statements on the killing of George Floyd and made commitments to ensure that this moment--a moment to push for needed change and reform--does not slip away. 

As a white woman who attended the very first night of the protests in Minneapolis, who has grappled with how to be the most authentic and effective ally (individually and as the Executive Director of Firefly), and who has been intentionally bearing witness to the events in Minneapolis and across the globe, I know only one thing is certain--that it is time for me (and folx in white bodies like me) to listen, learn, and recognize what true allyship is.

We've intentionally been stepping back, listening deeply to the voices, perspectives, and wisdom of black leaders and communities. I've seen many posts and emails from well-intentioned white yoga teachers offering a lot of answers. Firefly does not have the answers-- we have questions and resources. We know that well meaning white yogis have unintentionally upheld and/or reinforced white supremacy in the yoga industry and in spaces where yoga is offered. I struggle with, and will reassess, the ways we contribute to that system-- a system that is inherently problematic in the United States due to rampant cultural appropriation, spiritual bypassing, and white washing of the practice. At Firefly, we are mindfully following Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) leaders on how we can best contribute to a necessary shift of the status quo in the yoga world moving forward. We recognize it is NOT the responsibility of BIPOC folx to educate white people and we own the responsibility of doing the work. 

On Wednesday, June 10th, I participated in a conference call with the newly formed MN Yoga Coalition. Ericka Jones is leading the call to action for yoga studio owners in Minnesota to  make yoga spaces more inclusive, equitable, and diverse. Though the call was intended for Minnesotans, at one point there were over 120 participants on the line from California, Canada, Nebraska, New York, New Zealand, and more. That feels promising for what lies ahead in this field! Firefly immediately signed on to the MN Yoga Coalition’s diversity, equity, and inclusion pledge, and I will be serving on the Owner Commitment Committee. We are all part of the community, part of the problem, and part of the solution.

As the Executive Director (and co-founder) of Firefly Yoga International, I take responsibility for missteps and/or blatant ways that we have failed to be allies in the fight against white supremacy. We realize that being committed to practicing and educating about social justice isn't enough. We must be actively anti-racist. As an organization dedicated to training others on trauma-informed principles and practice we know that racial trauma intersects many other layers of trauma. We have already transformed the "Trauma, Privilege, and Social Justice" module of our training curriculum to explicitly address the intersections of individual and collective racial trauma, and how this shows up in yoga spaces. 

The Firefly Board of Directors met on Thursday, June 11th to discuss how we’re moving forward as an organization. In addition to following recommendations by the MN Yoga Coalition, Firefly board members will be conducting a special strategic planning session to identify ways in which we will better mainstream anti-racism and gender inclusivity work internally and externally. We will continue offering a scholarship program for those often underrepresented in yoga teacher spaces and work to ensure that our trainings are representative of the communities we serve. Firefly Yoga International is committed to confronting and dismantling white supremacy in the yoga community, elevating BIPOC and LGBTQ+ voices and leadership, reassessing our own internal policies, and to showing up as a genuine and non-performative ally.

Every white body and cisgender ally has a responsibility and a role to play in ensuring that we don't go "back to normal." There's a new normal ahead of us that includes police reform, uprooting and dismantling white supremacy, tearing down systems that uphold institutional racism, and facing all forms of oppression and marginalization head on. Systemic change is vital, but we can begin to re-orient as individuals immediately. We have many resources available, due largely in part to individuals and organizations that have compiled incredibly comprehensive guides. Below we've included some of them to launch or further your work in the area of diversity, equity, and inclusion.  

As a public health professional, I would be remiss if I failed to address COVID-19. The global pandemic has impacted everyone in both small and large ways, and has produced an ongoing and collective trauma (that we’re still in). Life as we have known it has shifted. Physical and mental health, for many, has suffered. We encourage you to focus on self-care, knowing that what one actually needs to be well may change from one day to the next. Exploring trauma-informed yoga and/or other embodied practices, may be helpful to promote self-regulation and calm the nervous system during this unpredictable time. Mental health therapy practices are also available to provide telemedicine for cognitive processing (some online therapy options are specifically tailored for those who are under- or un-insured). The pandemic has produced much loss and I would argue just naming that may be a helpful place to start. 

COVID-19 is just one symptom of the long history of systemic racism and health inequities that exist, explicitly demonstrating that racism IS a public health issue. Overall health disparities have been shown throughout time, but in this situation, we know that black and brown communities have been disproportionately impacted by COVID-19. Trauma, privilege, public health, racial justice, gender equity, and socioeconomic status cannot be addressed individually, as they are inherently connected. When we work in one of these areas, we must then become advocates for layers of basic human rights-- acknowledging overlapping identities and experiences-- this is the root of intersectionality. 

I honestly believe we are at a turning point. What I'm witnessing firsthand in Minneapolis, and the uprising we are collectively experiencing across the country, makes me hopeful that we are participating in a historical shift. We look forward to standing beside each of you as we forge ahead in the fight for a just and equitable world.

In solidarity,

Annie Kiel
Executive Director

Resources:

One way Firefly will contribute to anti-racism work is by sharing resources. We invite white yoga teachers, therapists, social workers, somatic practitioners, and other social service workers, to stand in solidarity with our BIPOC yoga community, by digging in to do the work (individually and systemically). In addition to the resources below, some specific areas to research and learn about, may include: white privilege, white supremacy, spiritual bypass, white fragility, allyship, social justice, and anti-racism. We share a collective responsibility to be better allies in working to break down systems that uphold oppression.

97 Things White People Can Do For Racial Justice by Corrine Shutack

Anti-Racism Resources for White People by Sarah Sophie Flicker & Alyssa Klein

The Anti-Racist Starter Pack by Brea Baker

Follow and Read by Jenna Arnold

Anti-Racism Resources by Rachel Ricketts

Social Change Wheel

By Anni Boyum

I invite you to take a break from reading and take a deep breath. Ah, your brain & body thank you!

I invite you to set an intention for your day: What’s something you’d like to offer or create today?

I’m an “​Executive & Leadership coach​” who loves working with leaders and teams with an expansive reach and huge impact on the lives of those they lead and serve. I’ve officially done this work for 15+ years, and unofficially most of my life. When I was a kid, an executive coach was a fancy bus wealthy folks rented to take to an event or destination.

Today, I smile when the monster buses with “Executive Coach” or “Minnesota Coach” painted on the side pass me on the highway. We share the same title and, in many ways, we do the same work; we are both in service of people in reaching their preferred destination. Coaches (the people variety) serve clients by inviting them to become aware of their thoughts, notice sensations in their body and explore new ways of moving, shifting, and designing their life.
When I’m not coaching, I’m probably practicing yoga. I’ve had an in-home-yoga-studio for 30+ years, which makes me sound more dedicated than I am to the teachings of yoga. Just this year, I completed the 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training under the guidance of Suzy Schaak at​ Pure Yoga in Stillwater​, MN. It was truly life giving! During training, I became inspired to learn even more.

After finishing Yoga Teacher certification, I attended the Firefly Training in trauma-informed yoga. T​his 30-hour program was led by the amazing Annie Kiel of Firefly Yoga International​. The mission of Firefly Yoga is to create a world in which survivors of trauma can access, and benefit from, the power of yoga to heal the mind, body and spirit. My intention going into this training was to expand my skills as a yoga teacher so I might someday, offer Trauma-informed yoga classes at Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation. I am passionate about serving and supporting people in reaching their goals. Offering yoga seems to be a natural next step.

When I coach, I ask clients to set an Intention for our time together.​ During our session, we check back on the original intention to see how we’re doing. If we’re off track, we can choose to come back or recalibrate the intention. Naturally, I apply this in my daily life too.

During the Firefly Trauma-informed yoga training, the intention of being a ‘better prepared yoga teacher in order to teach at HBFF’ morphed, transformed really, to being a better version of myself. I had no idea the depth to which physiology, neuroscience, unique differences and humanity would come into our discussion. I have new vocabulary, much of which I still cannot spell, and more than that – I have a richer sense of what it means to be ‘in service’.

Can I lead a trauma-informed yoga class?​
Absolutely, however that’s no longer the only goal. Today, I marvel at how much trauma-informed studies support me in working with clients and working with executives who make major decisions daily, impacting the live’s and livelihood of so many people. I’m more committed to tap into the wisdom of the body, offering an invitation to take a few deep breaths to get present, and explore ways to tune into their internal-genius and discover inspired action.

What’s one thing I will do differently because of this experience?
I will invite people to consider options, not challenge them with my own thinking or assumptions. I will invite leaders to explore or investigate how decisions feel in their body - not just their head. I will tune into my own body-wisdom when I get a little off balance during my day, whether I’m driving, using technology or working with a team. I will continue to do my own work and practice self-care because in all service-based-professions, it’s imperative we do our own work.

I am more aware of the invisible trauma we, as humans, can internalize when our fight or flight responses are unable to complete the natural cycle of release and regulate. Without a movement mechanism, like
trauma-informed yoga which offers the highest degree of choice and personal control and safety, our bodies can get stuck and become dysregulated and that, my friends, can have a huge impact on how we make decisions and lead our lives, our families and our businesses.

I invite you, in your own time, to take a few deep breaths.

Breathing in your nose, exhale through your mouth and tune into your body. I invite you to notice where your body touches the chair. What sensations are you noticing? What movement would support you in feeling even more comfortable, grounded, connected, present?
I invite you to do this before every decision, every conversation, and anytime you feel stressed or pressure. ​Let me know what you discover​.

I invite you to revisit your intention(s) throughout the day. Ask yourself, “How am I doing? What would make this intention even more compelling, supportive, inspiring?”

I invite you to find a way to integrate some trauma-informed insights into your day-to-day leadership.

In joy, Anni b.

My yoga journey started at the tender age of 11. My former football-playing dad brought me along to his Hatha yoga class led by a renowned Swami in the area. I was captivated by this grandpa figure with perfect posture who wore only orange and spoke in hushed tones. I had no idea at the time that I was hooked for life. The Hatha classes were gentle and simple, yet profound. My 11-year old self had no idea what was going on, but I knew that I wanted to go back every week for savasana (final resting pose), and the cheesecake after class at Café Latte that my dad and I always enjoyed.

Fast forward to my first year out of college; I was working an extremely stressful job in Milwaukee Public Schools for AmeriCorps. Yoga came flooding back into my life as an antidote and mental survival tool that got me through easily one of the most stressful years of my life. I jumped in headfirst and immersed myself in a 200-hour teacher training steeped in creative sequencing (hence why I love [Firefly Executive Director] Annie Kiel’s classes so much) and yoga philosophy. I fell prey to the rookie yoga teacher mistake of saying “yes” to every opportunity that came my way and soon experienced burnout and a repetitive stress injury. It was a pivotal time in my life where I learned a painful, yet profound lesson. I had to redefine what yoga meant to me. I began to seek out teachers, friends, and colleagues living and teaching sustainable yoga that did no harm.

That’s when I found yoga therapy. I spent five years traveling back and forth to Kripalu, in the Berkshires of western Massachusetts, studying how to tailor yoga to each individual, regardless of ability, background, injury, health history, etc. I was filled with purpose once again and knew I was on an important path. I shed the identity of “yoga teacher” and began to learn how to wear a new hat that had absolutely nothing to do with me. I asked myself over and over, “how can I best serve the human in front of me in this present moment?”

I had been taking Annie’s weekly classes (in Minneapolis, MN) for a few months when I learned about Firefly’s trauma-informed yoga teacher training. Because of the work that I do in the yoga therapy field, it seemed like a no-brainer to sign up for the training. I attended a Firefly Training in Minneapolis in January 2019. I thoroughly enjoyed and respected the approach that Firefly embodies as it mirrors the lessons I learned so many years ago. How do we truly show up for those in need? How can we take ourselves as the teacher out of the equation and create a safe container for healing, while doing no harm? I appreciate the scientific approach that Firefly takes in explaining trauma, as well as offering practical tools of how to create physical, emotional, and spiritual safety for students.
 
I am beyond excited to be working more closely with Firefly in the coming months. I’ll be assisting the upcoming Firefly Training in Woodbury, MN, July 19-21 and look forward to merging the fields of yoga therapy and trauma-informed yoga to better serve the community. I believe that my expertise working one-on-one with clients and understanding the different manifestations that stress can take in the body, mind, and spirit will complement the teachings of Firefly.

I look forward to this next step on my yoga path. This work is incredibly important to the community at large, as well as to my own growth. I truly believe that we are all on a journey, and you never know the impact that the smallest act of kindness and compassion can have on another soul.  Bringing this sensitivity to the yoga practice can literally change the world around us and I am glad to be a part of this movement.  The beauty of yoga is that it can be taught anywhere and to anyone. With a compassionate, insightful, and well-trained teacher, the practice can truly be accessible for every body.

By Casey Cashman
Firefly Training attended: Winona, MN - September, 2018
TW/CW: Sexual violence

As the brilliant Brene Brown says, “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” 

As many do, I came to discover the light of yoga in effort to get through some dark times. I was working as a victim advocate, assisting victims of all types of crime, when suddenly the tables turned. During a weekend trip to my hometown, I was sexually assaulted by one of my oldest friends. With my advocacy background, I knew what I could expect in the aftermath. I knew my options to report or not and was well aware of the free counseling resources available to me. As much as I knew about trauma reactions from working with victims, you can never really prepare for trauma.

I experienced a full range of symptoms and reactions that are known to be common for sexual violence victims. I returned to work as soon as I could in an attempt to re-establish some normalcy in my life. I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol in effort to numb the pain of being violated by someone I had loved and trusted. I disrespected my body and let others do the same. I felt unworthy, damaged, and broken. I got really really angry, and very confused. I startled easily and was afraid to be alone. I also became silent about my assault. I didn’t want to talk about it with my family or friends, as I knew that it caused them pain to talk about it as well. I didn’t want them to know how hopeless I had become. I just threw myself into my work serving others and promised myself that I’d eventually deal with it. I tried EMDR and CBT therapy, which helped me cope with daily triggers, but didn’t address how I was treating my body.

Fortunately, I was invited by a friend to try out a yoga class; something that would become my salvation in this healing process. After being disconnected from my body, I was shown how I could safely explore and reconnect with my body. Yoga taught me to become aware of the space that I physically inhabit, and to be grateful for my body and being alive. It taught me that I was strong, driven, and resilient. Yoga became a regular practice of self-care and healing. A time and space where I could focus on myself and nothing else. I didn’t need to talk about the assault in order to feel the scars on my heart releasing and freeing me from the trauma stored within my body.

In the victim advocacy field, the terms often used in direct service include “victim” and “survivor”. Some believe that the term “survivor” is more empowering and forward-thinking, while others see the validation that comes with the term “victim”. As I deepened my yoga practice and embarked on my teacher training, I began to feel open, light, and worthy once again. I felt as though I was moving from a victim to a survivor. I wanted to help other victims to discover the healing gift of yoga.

I was so excited when I landed my first yoga teaching job. I knew that I would make mistakes and certain aspects would be harder than others, like adapting sequences to experience levels, demonstrating inversions, or music mishaps. I was surprised to find that the most challenging part of my teaching journey has had little to do with actually teaching. The studio asked for a head shot and biography for their website. No problem, I thought, how hard can it be? Over a year into teaching and I found that I still hadn’t given the studio my bio. What seemed like a simple task had transformed into a huge mental roadblock. I realized that even though I had come so far in my healing and felt resolve about what happened, it was still difficult to talk about, especially publicly.

It wasn’t until I went to write my teacher bio that I found difficulty in naming and owning my experience. Choosing a label of “victim” or “survivor” was a challenge. Like a lotus flower blooming in mud, my yoga journey was born out of my victimization. I felt like I couldn’t write an authentic biography without identifying myself as a victim of sexual assault, and so I’m incredibly grateful for the #MeToo movement. Even as a victim advocate, without others speaking up and naming the abuse they’ve endured, it would have been much more difficult to publicly identify as a victim. I’ve learned that identity can be fluid and whether I choose to identify as a victim or survivor can depend on many things, but I still have a choice. I find some comfort in knowing that whatever label I use, I know I’m not alone.  

While I found the words to write about my yoga journey, I also felt like I needed something more to connect my practice to my purpose. I was thrilled when I learned about Firefly Yoga International - the trauma-informed yoga teacher training was exactly what I needed to finally blend my yoga teaching with my work in the victim advocacy field. 

We are all on our own paths to healing, and just like victim advocates, yoga instructors can play a big part in either helping or harming trauma survivors. I realized during the Firefly Training that much of what I learned to be proper teaching methods through my 200-hour training was actually very directive, judgmental, and [potentially] unsafe for students. I was surprised by the level of attention and preparation that it takes to lead a trauma-informed class, and also realized how often I might be teaching on auto-pilot.

The biggest change in my teaching since Firefly has been integrating the use of invitational language into my classes. My 200-hour training emphasized that teachers should “cue-body part-direction”, such as “reach your right leg high”, which is meant to be a clear, concise direction. This style of teaching however doesn’t invite other options or adapt well to physical limitations or skill levels.

When someone becomes a victim, their sense of agency and control is taken away. An advocate’s role is to help victims to understand their options and let them choose what is best for them. It sounds simple, but is so important to effective advocacy; it’s giving control back to the victim and not choosing for them. I appreciated that Firefly emphasized this key notion of choice, which I think is missing or minimized in other yoga teacher trainings. Giving students permission to choose what works for them is crucial to paving the way towards healing. Victims do not get a choice in what happened to them, but as yoga instructors, we owe it to trauma survivors to give options and empower their individual choices on and off their mat. 

When you give someone permission to own the narrative of their personal experiences, and view it for whatever it is to them, you provide permission to heal in their own freely chosen way with liberation from the past, to begin writing a new chapter in their lives. A chapter of healing, love, and freedom, with whatever label or title they choose. While the chapters of your life may have many different labels, you are ultimately the author of your own life story.

What I’ve learned throughout my experience, is that humans are constantly changing. We are powerful beyond belief. We can change. We can heal and overcome. Owning our personal struggles is not a sign of weakness, it is truly a sign of bravery and one that takes takes courage. Like Brene says, "..It's the bravest thing that we'll ever do."

By Jessalyn Akerman-Frank
 
When I saw a facebook post about the Firefly Training in trauma-informed yoga, it spoke to me. My first thoughts were that this is the type of training I need to incorporate into my yoga and advocacy work, and my work with Interpreters who interpret for hearing yoga classes that have Deaf participants. My second thought was, I wonder if they would accept me because I am Deaf and I require ASL Interpreters to participate fully. I am a passionate yoga teacher who loves the practice of yoga and wants to continue to grow in the field, and give that to my community. I decided to apply and to ask for the accommodations I needed. Firefly was very professional, asked all the right questions, and worked hard with me for months to figure out a way that we could work together.

My opportunity with Firefly was a beautiful community experience. It's always nerve-wracking for me to walk into a room with many seasoned yoga teachers, some new teachers, and people from all walks of life. Having ASL Interpreters helps, but knowing that I am the only Deaf person heightens my awareness every time. These feelings of unease lasted for no more than 15 minutes. Why? The Firefly Training facilitator (my teacher was Annie) immediately set the tone within the room.
 
The room was set up in a circle, which required us to look at each other and grow more accustomed to being together in a small space. The tone Annie used, which I could feel through the interpreters, was gentle. Annie was real, honest, and the way she instructed didn’t make the yoga classes feel like advertisements for the best yoga teacher, or for a studio environment that was “all smiles.” There is nothing wrong with that--but what I wanted was authenticity, and Annie was both authentic and present with us. The process, as we worked through the day, felt like the metaphor of being a caterpillar, shedding layers of skin, bringing out rawness (Truth)--and only by consent and will of the individual. The transformation was evident in all of us. In the end, I truly was changed, a beautiful butterfly of my own.

I recently heard someone say that you don’t develop self-love; rather, you recover or rediscover it. Hearing that lit my internal YES button in a big way. And it made me recall how I’ve always thought of my yoga practice - as a practice of remembering, rather than learning. Remembering that yes, I do, in fact, love myself. Remembering that I’m capable. Remembering I’m a survivor. Remembering all these good things about myself, and all the while, building a strength that allows me to compassionately look at all the not-so-good things in me.

As a yoga student, I think it’s important and empowering to realize that this self-love has been within you all along, ready and waiting for you to dust it off and make use of it again. As a teacher, however, I’ve found a different journey.  Teaching has been very much about learning from external sources and developing new techniques. Over the years, I’ve been forming and reforming how I create space for people to explore themselves every time I step into the yoga room.  Through teaching yoga in a variety of spaces, I came to learn how many people attend yoga as a way to heal themselves. When I learned about the Firefly Training, I knew it would get me closer to helping students with trauma, but was surprised to find how it would impact my everyday teaching in profound ways.

Judy Fuller attended the Firefly Training in Spring 2017 in Grass Valley, CA. She has since initiated and run a trauma-informed series entitled, “Learning To Manage Anxiety, Depression & Post Traumatic Stress.” Among other things, Judy’s program incorporated gentle core opening yoga, relaxing breathing practices, guided awareness and imagery, body centered mindfulness, expressive arts, and education on the brain, nervous system and neural plasticity. She capped her series at six participants to ensure emotional and physical safety for everyone. Here is what Judy says about her work:

“I attended the Firefly Training in trauma-informed yoga last spring.  Following the training, I was inspired to put together a series class, pulling from all my learnings from almost 30 years of working with students and clients. 

I have now run two series which both filled to capacity.  The feedback has been amazing, with some of the participants now reporting they are able to recognize more quickly when they are outside their tolerance window, and that they are able to use the tools we developed in class to bring themselves back in. The biggest reward for me was to see them developing self compassion towards parts of themselves they had always been ashamed of and tried to hide.  

Developing and teaching this series was challenging and stretched me in my own self-care and facing my own edges, but it was well worth the effort.  Each class was two hours long and I took students through handouts, lectures and experiential practices.  We also spent time developing a “tools for management” list, which everyone contributed to.  I plan to continue the series in early 2018."